Rich vs. wealthy

One's in your face, the other's invisible.

Oct 28, 2022

Howdy! Welcome back to Traipsing About, a newsletter about reclaiming creativity and ditching tired personal paradigms.

Chelsea and I are back to real life after bidding adieu to a visiting friend. Lots of outdoor fun, chess, and fireside chats, plus obligatory piano discussions that sent Chelsea scurrying for safety.

My friend’s visit happened because I mentioned I was enjoying our conversations about this mess of being human. His response: “Crazy idea: what if I come to Bend in October?” I canceled a trip and am so glad I made the space.

My takeaway: don’t be afraid to tell a friend how much they mean to you. Investing in a friendship is one of the best uses of our energy.

And now it’s back to normal life stuff like winterizing our irrigation system.

This week on Trampoozling About, Edition #112:

The benefits of gossip
Looking back at two years of learning piano as an adult
Rich vs. wealthy
Traipsing Tidbits: my fav things

ICYMI: Last week I wrote about how boundaries help build strong friendships.

A quick portrait of musician Andrew Bird. Loving his Spotify station lately.

Gossip as a connection tool

Last week I referenced a list of ways to waste time, one of which was gossip. Since then, I’ve enjoyed a number of enlightening conversations about the topic. (A benefit of sorting my questing mind out in public!)

A few nuanced ideas around gossip:

Gossip serves as a strong social connection tool. Talking about the people around us is a time-tested way to feel closer to others. I’ve noticed this while walking on our local trail: almost everyone I pass is talking about relationships!
Talking about someone else as a way to understand them better is a way to improve that friendship. A mutual friend’s perspective can illuminate actions in a way we might not see. “Ohhh, thaaat’s why so-and-so acts like that.”
Defining our intent clarifies whether gossip is useful. Are we trying to cut someone down, or trying to improve a relationship by understanding them? I like the idea of approaching it from a “is this doing harm?” standpoint.

Nuanced and complex for sure, but I think navigable!

HooRAY for recent rain and snow putting an end to the fire season.

Adults can learn to play piano too

Two years ago, Chelsea surprised me for my birthday with a digital piano. I’d mentioned my desire to learn a few times and, ever the muse, she called my bluff.

She was right. At 38 YO, I tumbled rapturously into the world of piano. The honeymoon phase is over, and yet I remain motivated to play every day and am still loving the journey.

After two years, I can play many pieces I’ve always enjoyed listening to (e.g. works by Beethoven, Chopin, Liszt, and modern pianists). Plus many others that I can sit down and play from memory!

My sound isn’t pro and I make plenty of mistakes, but dammit, I am having FUN.

You, mega-savvy Traipsing About reader, can do it too! Read the full blog post here.

Rich vs. wealthy

Years ago, a friend and I were biking through the West Hills of Portland, land of expensive homes. “How do all these people have a million dollars?” he asked.

Haaaa. DEBT, BABY! LOTS. OF. DEBT.

This popped in my head recently while reading the fantastic book The Psychology of Money.

As the author describes, rich is what you SEE, while wealth is invisible. In fact, when people say they want a million dollars, what most mean is they want to SPEND a million to demonstrate how much money they have. Rich can merely mean high-earning + high-spending, with each paychecked zapped and zilch in the bank.

Unfortunately, the invisibility of wealth means it’s hard to find role models. Instead, it’s more common to see over-leveraged people grinding away paying for expensive cars and houses and vacations and and and…

When we drill down, I think most of us want the freedom and security of wealth, not the trappings of wealth. Which probably should be rebranded as Rich and Trapped!

A (small) shift in mindset has happened for a subset of people (i.e. Mustachians and the financial independence, retire early movement), but popular culture mostly pushes us toward consuming, not saving. Side note: consumption is terrible for the environment.

Hopefully the movement continues to evolve so people can ditch Rich and Trapped and think about money as what it allows them to DO versus BUY.

Last ride of the year up high in Bend before snow rolled in.

Traipsing About Tidbits: Stuff I’m Digging

The Flexbar is my go-to PT device for avoiding tennis elbow. By strengthening the top of the forearm, it offsets all the time I spend on piano, weight lifting, biking, climbing, typing…oh hell, everything I do! The red model is the best to start with.
Summarize.tech uses AI magic to cruise Youtube videos and summarize them. A great way to decide if a long video contains the information you’re looking for. I use it all.the.time.
Taylor Swift’s new album, Midnights, is fabulous. (I know because Chelsea has had it on repeat this week.) Also, the music video Anti-Hero from the album is excellent.

Quote To Go

People’s advice is based on their fears, their experiences, their prejudices, and at the end of the day, their advice is just that: it’s theirs, not yours. When people give you advice, they’re basing it on what they would do, what they can perceive, on what they think you can do.
But the bottom line is, while yes, it is true that we are all subject to a series of universal laws, patterns, tides, and currents—all of which are somewhat predictable—you are the first time you’ve ever happened. YOU and NOW are a unique occurrence, of which you are the most reliable measure of all the possibilities.

From Will by Will Smith (yup, the actor!) (Quote revisited via my fav, Readwise.)

Thanks for reading Traipsing About!

Speaking of advice, take this week’s unsolicited input with a grain of salt (as always): there’s no better time than now to start learning a skill you’ve always wanted to try. What would your future self thank you for starting this winter season? I’m pumped to lean into landscape watercolors!

Til next time…arrivederci.

P.S. This comic is for all you new parents. Or old parents. Or people without kids who know a parent.