The fork in the road
Whether little or big flaps, they all have ripple effects.
Howdy…and Happy New Year! To all you recent newcomers, welcome to Traipsing About, my newsletter about reclaiming creativity and ditching tired personal paradigms. No AI bots here—credit is mine for all bad puns, drawings, photos, and typos.
I’ve spent the winter skiing cornices in Antarctica and hanging off cliffs in Greece… Oh wait, no I haven’t!
Thanks to the ol’ heart issue from a vaccine last fall, I’ve chilled in Bend for over three months, focusing simply on a) recovery and b) enjoying the small things. I’m feeling great emotionally and physically and hope to be back at it this spring.
As a silver lining, ramping up my physicality has helped me appreciate the feeling of strength and fitness that comes from exercise. I for sure have taken that for granted in the past.
This week on Butterflying About, Edition #140:
Little flaps, big effects.
Revisiting The Road Not Taken.
Ripple effects.
Traipsing tidbits.
In case you missed it: Last time I wrote about uncovering some say whaaat family history via a piece of music my mom wrote at 18 YO.
Reconsidering the road not taken
Today is the 2nd Friday of the year, also known as Quitting Day. As in, quitting New Year’s resolutions.
But this isn’t a newsletter about resolutions. If you’re losing momentum, quick, read a short summary of Atomic Habits!
Instead, I’ve been thinking about choices, and how small flutters (or large flaps) of our little butterfly wings can make all the difference.
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When he was 23, the British adventurer Alastair Humphreys faced a transitional life moment. It was one of those “two roads diverging in a yellow wood” moments from the famous Robert Frost poem.
Grappling with the choice of a long-term employment offer, Alastair wrote a letter to his boss:
“Dear Mr. Walker,
I would definitely enjoy working here on a permanent basis. However, there is so much to see and do in the world.
If I was to settle into teaching now I am sure that I would enjoy it, but there would always be something gnawing at me.
Therefore I have decided that I am going to go ahead with my original plan to take 2 or 3 years cycling around the globe. I believe that my experiences on the road will only serve to improve my teaching skills when I do decide to return to teaching.Deep down I know that teaching is probably the sensible option. However, even deeper down I know that if I have the chance to do something now and do not take it, I may always regret it.”
Applause to the young Brit! (Yes, I’m biased.)
Enough about Alastair, let’s talk about ME and my first job out of college.
I’d languished in my cubicle forEVER (almost 1.5 years, lol). I wasn’t happy with my work, but a steady paycheck after years of penurious living was delightful.
However, my bosses were living harried, late-night-in-the-office lives I didn’t aspire to, much less envy. On my desk, I had a digital picture frame jammed full of photos from a post-college year traveling the globe. My vacation time barely provided enough time to fly overseas, much less enjoy it.
Yup, whine whine. Hey, I was am a Millennial, dammit, and I wanted to fast-track things. Instagram didn’t exist yet, but a year flitting about the globe had shown me a different path into the woods.
People (rightly) tried to dissuade me with logic about my solid salary, my benefits, and the fact that the U.S. economy was cratering from the housing crisis. I still did it.
I’ve lost the email I wrote to the CEO of the company, but I still have the anniversary of my last day—June 6th, 2008—in my calendar. A day that teed up the current life I have, along with all the unforeseen complications (positive and headache-inducing) along that new road.
Interestingly, that poem of Frost’s is often misunderstood. “The road less traveled by” is lionized as the superior path. That’s not what he’s talking about though. He’s sorry he can’t travel both!
Alastair understood this at 23, and also knew that he’d regret not pedaling down a different lane. I wasn’t so clairvoyant; office life grated, so I bailed. A little butterfly flap that resulted in major shifts down the road.
Was it the right call? Looking back, I think so... But for a solid two years after my resignation, things were very uncertain.
As we tiptoe into 2025, I’m pondering this stuff. When to make big shifts…and when to enjoy the accumulated efforts and past paths taken.
Given recent curveballs, my word for the year is CONTENT. As in being content, training for accepting this (or any) phase of our lives while leaning into appreciating the small stuff—geese quacks overhead during morning walks with Chelsea, pizza nights with friends, or the tingle of satisfaction when I nail a tough bar of Chopin.
It’s also laying the groundwork for taking a fork in the road when the time comes to write some more Dear Mr. Walker letters in the future.
The Road Not Taken
Note: Try reading the poem below with the mindset that neither road is superior, merely a choice. It transforms Frost’s poem from a played-out coffee mug saying to thought-provoking wisdom.
The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
*
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
*
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
*
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
With the new perspective, it reminds me how Cheryl Strayed talks about the untrammeled path as “ghost ships sailing off, disappearing into the fog.”
Ripples
Sticking to the roads not taken theme, this essay from the always-provocative Derek Sivers hit home for me, especially this:
We make a big choice, like a house, job, spouse, or dog. We think about the thing itself: the look of the house, what the job pays, what a sweet dog. But a choice has so many cascading consequences. One big choice shapes a hundred little others. I try to imagine the ripple effects — the later details that make the day-to-day difference.
Then I think in reverse. Knowing the consequences I want, what choice would create them? What big choice would nudge a hundred others that way?
I’m trying to improve my ability to grok the “one big choice→hundreds of others.” I don’t for a second believe we have total control over our entire futures (health, climate change, aliens?!), but we can certainly put our hand on the tiller. Sometimes in big ways.
Traipsing About Tidbits
Note: none of these links are ever affiliate links, just stuff I use, enjoy or admire.
These starling murmurations are incredible!
These apple rankings are hilarious (and also accurate, I’ve found). From the Red Delicious: “You can find this thick-skinned, flavorless, mealy imposter unwashed in a dirty wicker basket on the floor of a convenience store.”
I found the new Netflix documentary Don’t Die thought-provoking, if only because Bryan Johnson is such a fascinatingly weird human.
For you piano fans: I’ve enjoyed watching the interviews with the talented performers in the U.S. Chopin competition. Such dedication astounds me. Finals this weekend!
Two quotes to ponder
What's one decision you can make today that will save you from making ten more decisions in the future? Make the choice that eliminates other choices. (James Clear)
“Hard choices, easy life. Easy choices, hard life.”
That’s it for Traipsing About newsletter #140
Unsolicited advice for this round:
Which ripple effects do you foresee with a potential fork in your road of life? Is this year a good one for life-expanding moves or enjoying what you’ve built?
Onward,
Dakota
P.S. More cats! They’re always strange and often hilarious (click image for video).
Thanks for reading Traipsing About! I appreciate your time and attention in a world where it’s a precious commodity. Hit reply on this email and let me know what you’re up to this winter!
In 2018 I had finally collected my savings and bought new 4x4 van. I retired and we were ready to travel. I researched all and went full bore onto lithium batteries, solar, induction cooking, composting toilet, etc. etc.
Then I found out about afib, followed by loss of consciousness. Hybrid radio ablations with embedded heart monitor; a year later my heart stops for 16 seconds. I get a Pacemaker. Most recently my blood is lacking enough red and white blood cells; platelets are now too few. I have MDS. Was it agent orange? Something I smoked? NYC pollution?
What I do know is 1) That I don't live in the Ukraine, Gaza, Sudan, or this week Malibu; 2) I have a buddy and 3) We're going to travel... a little bit at a time. I am very lucky to be here.
You have My best wishes and prayers for your continued choices in life.